40 Disney Attractions: 20

"And don't worry about that asteroid. You'll be in and out of there before it breaks the atmosphere. Trust me, what could go wrong?"




20. Dinosaur

Once a small highway town, Dinoland USA blew up after an amateur fossil hunter accidentally stumbled upon some dinosaur bones in 1947. Since then, scientists have bought most of the area and learned to live with the locals while searching the land for more evidence of prehistoric life.

Two residents, Chester and Hester, also saw the appeal of the new visitors flocking across the country and, determined to make a quick buck, converted their gas station into a chintzy souvenir stand and eventually opened a miniature midway adjacent to the gift shop.

At the center of the town, however, is the main attraction: The Dino Institute, a once secret research facility now open to the public. Here, scientists have perfected time travel technology and are now allowing guests to take trips back in time on scenic tours of prehistory. Following a brief explanation via video chat from Dr. Marsh (Clair Huxtable), she is interrupted by Dr. Seeker (Andy French) who asks guests to participate in a very secret mission: go back in time and find a tagged Iguanodon and bring it back to the present before the dinosaur-killing meteor hits the planet.

What begins as a peaceful search(even under killer time restraints) turns into a race to avoid a hungry Carnotaurus as your Time Rover speeds away, trying to catch the Iguanodon while trying to not get caught itself. The Rover skids left and right, taking steep drops and sharp turns, as the countdown to extinction draws closer.

The strange thing about Dinosaur is that it's virtually similar in track layout to a Disneyland ride that premiered 3 years earlier, Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. For some reason, Disney World still doesn't have a legit Indiana Jones ride (we still have that dumb stunt show though). Instead we get dinosaurs.

It's still an incredibly fast paced and exciting ride! But I'm not sure which is better: Indy or dinos.

40 Disney Attractions: 21

"Attention all aliens from galaxy M-31, please keep forward facing tentacle clear of oncoming blue liner vehicles."



21. The Tomorrowland Transit Authority

Listen up. I'm gonna school you to why the TTA is the best ride in all of Tomorrowland.

First and foremost, atmosphere. No other ride at Tomorrowland represents Tomorrowland like the PeopleMover. Sitting in Rockettower Plaza, the exact center of the area, the TTA is a ride as much as it is a line. It's a queue for Tomorrowland itself. The ride is themed as an urban transit system, traveling across all of Tomorrowland, passing through many of the attractions and gives you a good idea of what the entire area is like. Add in an announcement PA system, making dumb space related puns, and it's just awesome.

Second: Convenience. Most people ignore this ride. It's not Buzz Lightyear, it's not Space Mountain. It's a slow(ish) ride around Tomorrowland. As such, there are no wait times. Literally zero. You can walk right up the moving walkway and into a Metroliner seat. Since it's high up, it's a lot cooler than most rides which is a blessing in Florida heat. You also get a good view of the park itself, nabbing pictures like this:



Lastly: Behind the scenes stuff. Traveling through attractions is a great way to view some workings, in and around the ride. Passing by Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin, you can see hidden hit points and the blacklights scattered throughout. Going into the Carousel of Progress, you get a peek of a model of Walt Disney's planned city of the future. Most importantly though, you get a chance to see this monstrosity:



The TTA passes right by Space Mountain's loading area and when it needs to undergo refurbishment or it breaks down, they need to turn the lights on.

And there is nothing scarier in Walt Disney World than Space Mountain with the lights on.

40 Disney Attractions: 22

"And it rained...and it rained...and it rained...the deluge."



22. The Living Seas

Okay so just to be clear, I have nothing against the replacement attraction, The Seas with Nemo and Friends. It's cute, it's fun, it's got great atmosphere and it even tells a story. But, man, it cannot hold a candle to Sea Base Alpha.

Following a short pre-show on the creation of the oceans, guests board Hydrolators that purportedly take them down miles beneath the sea(actually just two inches) to just outside the base. From there, they board Omnimover Seacabs which take them through a tunnel and into Sea Base Alpha itself, all the while viewing the marine life in Disney World's 5,700,000 gallon aquarium.

The idea that The Living Seas was an underwater exploration base is crucial to its entire being to me. It's beautiful and simple in the open, scientific base, viewing and learning of the fascinating creatures that reside in the ocean(including my friend, the Cuttlefish). It made me want to be a marine biologist, thinking I could spend my time in a real Sea Base Alpha. The Living Seas remains close to my heart as an example of what Disney can do as an immersive educational tool. Sure, it's just a massive aquarium(the largest saltwater tank in the world until the Georgia Aquarium opened in 2005), but it's because of that feeling that you're seeing science happen that makes it all the more special to observe fish.

There's also a seafood restaurant next door with one of the walls being part of the aquarium, which is kinda messed up.

40 Disney Attractions: 23

oh hi there

"Make it a stretch...In fact, make it a super stretch"

23. Rock 'n' Roller Coaster


Okay, so I mean, it's Rock n Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith. But I literally cannot imagine there is a person on this planet that gives two cares about these grody old dudes who haven't been popular since Armageddon.

The gist of the ride is you're taking a tour of a record company and, just as Aerosmith is gonna treat you to a sneak peek recording, their manager tells them "Yo, Aerosmith, you're about to be late to your concert." To make up for missing out on their stupid garbage performance no one cares about, they give you free backstage passes AND a limo ride. You exit the studio into an alley with a 24 seater rolly coaster limo.

It's at that point the actual cool thing begins. You shoot out from 0 to 57 mpg in 3 seconds with Aerosmith songs specifically rewritten to be about roller coasters and sung by the band hitting corkscrews and stuff. You literally hit more gs than when an astronaut does at a space shuttle launch. It's insane.

Rock 'n' Roller Coaster is interesting in that it's definitely a more hardcore roller coaster with crazy speed and loops, but unlike most hardcore coasters, it's not as clunky of a ride. It's a smoother ride.

40 Disney Attractions: 24

"Two tiny wings/Eyes big and yellow/Horns of a steer/But a loveable fellow/From head to tail, he's royal purple pigment/And there, voila, you've got a Figment"



24. Journey into Imagination

Topped with giant stupid triangles, Epcot's Imagination Pavilion has been the home of Journey into Imagination since the ride opened in 1983. In its original incarnation, the ride's omnimover vehicles come across a giant blimp flying in the sky, the ride of choice for the Dreamfinder. Turns out the blimp can collect dreams and ideas to be placed in the Dreamport.

Assissting Dreamfinder is a small, purple, dragonish creature that is the literal figment of imagination, aptly named Figment(voiced by famous little person Billy Barty). Traveling through the Dreamfinder's storage room, the ride journeys past a number of rooms, experiencing how art, science, literature, performing arts and music can influence the power of imagination. Making it to the Dreamport, riders disembark as Dreamfinder explains how imagination is the key to unlocking the hidden wonders of the world.

Then Disney shut it down and screwed the whole thing up.

Following a year long renovation, the ride reopened as Journey into YOUR Imagination and featured a couple changes. First of all, the ride location now takes place in the Imagination Institute, a facility dedicated to studying imagination's power(also where the then-next-door Honey I Shrunk the Audience took place). Second, neither the Dreamfinder nor Figment are to be found, instead replaced by the Institute's head, Dr. Nigel Channing(Eric Idle). Channing, utilizing a new invention called the Imagination Scanner, discovers that the riders have literally no imagination, so he sends you through a bunch of rooms and blah blah blah your imagination is now supercharged and the scanner explodes. Surprisingly, this version sucked hard, so the ride shut down once more.

Only to reopen for the currently last time, now Channing is still the head of the Institute, but now plays the studious English foil to the wacky and fun-loving Figment(now voiced by Bunsen Honeydew/Gonzo muppeteer Dave Goelz). As Channing shows the guests through an open house, showcasing the five senses' influence on imagination, Figment interrupts at every turn, turning a boring open house into an exhibition on the magic of imagination. Eventually, Channing relents and realizes the Figment is correct in believing the imagination should be set free.

As much as people get mad at the changes made to the new Imagination ride compared to the original, I love it. It's kind of great to see a juxtaposition between the free Figment and the stuffy Channing. People just want everything to be the same as it was before, but it's funny how perception works sometimes. And imagination plays a big part in that.

40 Disney Attractions: 25

At the end of Hollywood Boulevard, the glitzy neon-encrusted Main Street surrogate for Hollywood Studios, sits the Chinese Theater. Decorated outside with the hand and footprints of folks like Jim Henson, Neil Diamond and George Lucas, the Theater(missing the Grauman's title since it was denied rights to use it) houses a display of movie items and, further in, sits a huge movie screen showing a number of trailers(slightly condensed), among them Alien, Singing in the Rain and Raiders of the Lost Ark. All in all, it's a pretty cute little tribute to Hollywood but could never really facilitate an actual r

"Hold onto your wallets and purses, folks. This looks like a bad neighborhood."



25. The Great Movie Ride


All of a sudden, the doors swing open, revealing a 1930s soundstage sitting inside the old Chinese Theater. In truth, as your tour guide reveals, this setting serves as the beginning of a tour through the movies. Not a look at sets or behind-the-scenes nonsense, a tour that literally takes you physically through famous films(or audio-animatronic equivalents). Beginning in the musicals, the ride vehicle travels past Busby Berkley's Footlight Parade and a lamppost-swinging Gene Kelly singing in the rain before passing under the rooftops of London as Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke sing Chim Chim Cheree.

From the top of London to the Underworld, the tour continues into the 1930s Chicago of the classic gangster films of years gone by. Passing by James Cagney's Tom Powers in a scene from The Public Enemy, the vehicle is halted by a traffic light, currently red, above a train tunnel. As your tour guide embarks to speak to someone about it(instead of just waiting), they are immediately met with a trio of mobsters(one real, the other two being animatronic) and, as the cops descend on the crime scene, mob boss Mugsy hijacks the car, leaving his team(and the tour guide) for pig feed and holding everyone on board hostage. But first a quick ride into the Old West, where John Wayne and Clint Eastwood warn you of what waits ahead, something the captor doesn't pay mind to. Moving past a saloon shootout, the tour enters the dingy, near dead Nostromo starship(which Mugsy mistakes for Jersey). Nervous, Mugsy speeds by scenes of the Alien popping out, trying to attack, while Sigourney Weaver's Ripley waits in the shadows with a flamethrower.

Moving through a snake-infested temple, the ride finds Indiana Jones and Sallah lifting the Ark of the Covenant out of the tomb before turning a corner to find the TEMPLE OF ANUBIS, home of a MYSTERIOUS JEWEL. Seeing an opportunity to Get Paid, Mugsy ascends the TEMPLE OF ANUBIS steps before being stopped by a temple guard who warns to not touch the MYSTERIOUS JEWEL or else face DIRE CONSEQUENCES, which Mugsy obviously ignores, touching the MYSTERIOUS JEWEL and turning into A SKELETON. The temple guard drops their robe and that's when things get sexy it turns out it's the tour guide! Back on track, the ride passes Mickey Mouse as the sorcerer's apprentice, Rick and Ilsa saying their goodbyes, and Tarzan, King of the Jungle, swinging across the jungle, before finally stopping in Munchkinland.

As the Munchkins welcome you to the merry old land of Oz, the Wicked Witch poofs in, accusing the tour guide of killing her sister before poofing away again after delivering empty threats. Not knowing how to continue, the Munchkins pop back up, realizing a song cue, and sing to follow the Yellow Brick Road. Leading past Dorothy and her crew standing in front of the Emerald City, the road ends in a giant theater which shows a grand finale three minute montage of classic film moments, before ending back up at the soundstage.

The Great Movie Ride is a pretty cute and entertaining blend of live action and robots coming together, something rare at Walt Disney World and it creates a really nice atmosphere to all of Hollywood Studios as the entrance ride to a world of fantastical cinema magic.

40 Disney Attractions: 26

"When you hear the words 'Go for launch,' you'll definitely want to hang on."



26. Mission: SPACE

BOOM what up America, welcome to the future! Literally welcome to the future, because the former home of Horizons is now the International Space Training Center in the year 2036. On this, the 75th anniversary of manned spaceflight, NASA plans to shoot astronauts to Mars for the first time. And y'all are trainees for the X-2 Deep Space shuttle.

After a video starring Gary Sinise hell yes, all trainees are put in groups of four and sent to the fake shuttles for training. Here, each member is assigned a crew position and tasked with pressing a certain button when the time comes. Sure, there are other buttons on the console but they will do nothing and may God help you if you do not push that damned button. Naw, just joking, the ship's auto-pilot will get it if you don't, but you'll look like an unfun jerk.

Following a shaky lift-off, your virtual vehicle slingshots around the moon for that extra push before dropping you into hyperfuturesleep so they have an excuse for the short trip from Earth to Mars. Obviously, since this is a training exercise there are also multiple DRAMATIC PROBLEMS to enhance the drama, but of course those are solved easily, usually with buttons.

In truth, it's just a glorified 2.5 g-force centrifuge mixed with video of space travel, but what makes Mission Space so thrilling is how close to reality it is to actual training. And by that, I mean, a lot of people puked a lot on it to the point that they actually had to create a second, half-throttle version of the ride for people who still like the idea of maybe barfing, but not also possibly having a heart attack.

AND OUR DESTINY
BEGINS WITH YOU AND ME
THROUGH ALL SPACE AND TIME
THE ACHIEVEMENT OF MANKIND
AS WE SAIL THE SEA
OF DISCOVERY
ON HEROES' WINGS WE FLY