40 Disney Attractions: 38

"Hey Henry! What's holdin' you up? Let's get on with the show!"



38. The Country Bear Jamboree

Disney World's original park, the Magic Kingdom, is more or less a recreation of California's Disneyland. From the park's layout of multiple themed lands to the centerpiece, a brilliant and beautiful castle, Magic Kingdom is a tribute to the young and young of heart and a place where dreams come true.

Full of red rock buttes and sitting beside an old gold rush river, Frontierland is a land pieced together from the most fantastical Westerns. Here, cowboys uphold the law of the land, pioneers set up shops and saloons and miners explore the beauty of the old west searching for that great promise of gold.

While Disneyland has the Critter County, Magic Kingdom places all its "Souther talking animal" attractions in Frontierland. Because why the heck not. So that's why the Country Bear Jambaroo is here, then!

Anyways, rustic Grizzly Hall houses an old-timey country revue full of robot bears and the heads of other robot animals on the wall providing commentary, but not in a snarky Statler and Waldorf kind of way. Just regular old commentary.

Henry, your master of ceremonies, introduces a number of goofy-lookin bears who all sing a little song and play their instruments before the next bear comes out. It may not be that enjoyable to most people, it remains pretty cute. Plus, there is literally 0% chance you're going to hate a giant, fat slow bear named Big Al singing "Blood on the Saddle".

Also,

Big dumb belchin bear!

40 Disney Attractions: 39

"Horizons 1 is now departing. Our final destination today, the 21st century."



39. Horizons

To the south of World Showcase is Future World, Epcot's celebration of the human application of nature and technology. One of the original landmarks of the park was Horizons.

As the Carousel of Progress was initially a look into the future from the post-war '50s and '60s, Horizons, the spiritual successor of the Carousel, is the modern age's view of the future. The modern age in this case being 1983, but hey, that's better than 1964.

An innocuous airport concourse("futureport") transforms into an omnimover port, where the ride begins in the most obvious of places: the past. Entitled "Looking Back At Tomorrow," the vehicles move past scenes of previous predictions of the future, from Jules Verne on. Your omnicar moves on to a view of the present, brought to you by two giant honkin' OMNIMAX dome screens, showing how we can utilize modern(1983) technologies and ideas to further the future.

Finally it moves into the ride's finale: the future. A grand city of the future, desert, space and underwater colonization are all featured and you're given the choice of viewing one further in a quick 30-second film

While Horizons was one of the earliest Epcot attractions to close, it stands as the first attraction in Disney history with something special: interactivity.

40 Disney Attractions: 40

"Mr. Franklin, I was born honest. Fortunately, it wore off."



40. The American Adventure

Welcome to Epcot, a place devoted to our present and our future. Designed as a permanent World's Fair, Epcot has two specific sections. To the north is the World Showcase. Here, eleven countries have gathered to celebrate our planet's various cultures. Each nation's pavilion is staffed exclusively by resident's of that country and the food and souvenirs are also all country-specific. Obviously, it's watered down for Disney purposes, but it's all there. Also they serve alcohol, so you can get absolutely stinko and get your picture taken with Tigger at the same.

At the center is the American Adventure. This isn't specifically meant to be egotistical(although it can certainly come off as such). The American Adventure represents, naturally, the USA as the host of this gathering of nations. It's also pretty much the smallest pavilion in the park, housing a restaurant(serving burgers and crap), an outdoor concert building where various musicians perform during special events at Epcot, a funnel cake stand(funnel cakes) and a show called The American Adventure.

Starting inside a rotunda, you can see the a capella group Voices of Liberty perform a number of patriotic tunes at various points during the day. After climbing the building's second floor(the stairwell decorated with flags throughout the country's history), you are let into the theater and the show begins.

As much as it is "America Is #1 And So Are All These People" the show, it presents a somewhat fair view of the country's history. It's hosted by two of the country's greatest smart-alecks, robot Ben Franklin and robot Mark Twain, it talks about how terrible life was for the first settlers, how violent and bloody the Civil War was and how many natives were slaughtered to make this country what it is today(recounted by robot Chief Joseph).

And then the montage happens. Using this music:



This is the cheesiest thing. Well, at least it's fair. And its got robot Will Rogers.

A new list already?

I go to Walt Disney World twice a year. Living in Florida, it's not hard to reside under the shadow of the Magic Kingdom. Even if you live in Miami, Orlando is only like a four hour drive if you take the highway. It's Central Florida, it's easy to get to from north and south.

But considering I've been there at least once a year since my birth, I have a deep love for the Walt Disney World Resort and the various parks, hotels, shops, water parks, and sports complex that are nestled firmly under the watchful eye of an all-encompassing Mickey Mouse statue, inside which reside the DisneyCorp thought police, ready to imprison you for one unhappy thought(coming March 2030).

But this isn't about the hotels or the shops or the MouseStation MK. II Surveillance Center, this is about the parks. Or more specifically, the rides. Most commonly, the ride begins before you even get in the vehicle. The people at Disney have perfected the ambience and ride experience to a science, a science which has been co-opted by many other parks. So that's what this is about. The best rides, in and out of the actual ride.

So to all who come to this happy place, welcome.

50 Video Game Characters: 1

"I'm-a gonna win!"



1. Wario (Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins)

Nintendo needed a villain for Super Mario Land 2. Tatanga sucked so they obviously weren't going back to that well. Instead they literally went with "Mario. But evil." Then they patted themselves on the back and went to smoke $100 bills.

Somehow the googly-eyed giant evil Mario turned into a landmark character for the company, becoming the star of two of their most absurd franchises: Wario Land and Warioware, both of which explore Wario's only goal in life: To get paid.

As one would expect from the anti-Mario, Wario is everything Mario isn't. He's a selfish, greedy, super macho dude who gets his powers from smelly garlic(as opposed to Mario's mushrooms) and he loves cutting farts. Wario is about as rude as they get, especially when compared to the goody-two-shoes Mario.

But despite his rudeness and greed, Wario isn't evil. The thing about Wario is he would never truly be pure evil like Bowser or Ganon. He's just an incredible bastard on all counts.

He's Nintendo's excuse for fart jokes. And he's the greatest character they've created.

Best moment: At the end of Shake It, Wario(who was promised a literal bottomless bag of coins for rescuing a princess) is given a lovely thank you from the princess of the Shake Dimension. Wario discovers his true feelings for the princess and they walk away into the sunset togeahhahaahaha no I'm joking with you. Instead, he almost violently tosses the princess to the side, just to get to his prize.

It's that sort of goofy crap that Wario pulls that shows both what a complete ass he is and why he's so great. All the other heroes want to save the princess. Wario just wants the gold. He's like a leprechaun. A fat, probably Italian leprechaun.

WAH

50 Video Game Characters: 2

2. Amaterasu (Okami)

The Shinto goddess of the sun. In the body of a white wolf, not dissimilar to the one that banished the demon Orochi some 100 years ago. Golly, what a bizarre coincidence then that someone should open Orochi's seal on the centennial of his defeat.

Well, Orochi starts sucking the life force out of neighboring Kamiki Village and Sakuya, the village's guardian is forced to call down Ammy to defeat the demon. Armed with a celestial brush and accompanied by a sassy tinyman, Amaterasu ventures forth to rid the world of the evil that plagues it once more.

Despite being a literal god, Ammy is incredibly human. Or animal. Or...forget it, she's easy to relate to. Even as a dog. She's incredibly emotive. Dog emotive. As a goddess, she displays a number of motherly qualities, including gentility and kindness.

For being pretty much a dog who can understand people, she's decidedly more complex than most video game characters.

Best moment: Going back in time and changing the past. When Shiranui the white wolf beat Orochi, it sacrificed itself to defeat the demon. Well, Amaterasu rescued Shiranui, so Shiranui returned the favor in the future WHAT.

50 Video Game Characters: 3

"I had a pretty good life. And then you showed up. You dangerous, mute lunatic."



3. GLaDOS (Portal)

SHODAN but funny

Best moment: That time when the cak

It would be pretty insulting to just end it there. Yeah, SHODAN had an obviously huge influence on Aperture Science's resident central computer/deadly neurotoxin provider/fuel line de-icer, but Valve had more than just the System Shock rogue AI in mind.

Witty, scathing and sarcastic, GLaDOS redefines passive-aggressive. While her messages are at first simple and informational, time and your unkillability(not a word) wears her down to the point of broadcasting messages meant to confound and insult you, going from friendly to frustrated to apologetic. Endlessly throwing out orphan and fat jokes, claiming you are actually an android. She taunts you by creating and destroying the world around you, trying to stop you from getting any further.

Yet despite all of this, she is absolutely lovable. Whether it be because of her calm voice, her humorous dialogue or just pure Stockholm Syndrome, GLaDOS defies her own villainous demeanor to become a character that just about everyone who plays Portal comes to greatly enjoy.

While her character progression in Portal 2 wasn't necessarily needed, it was more than welcome as it reveals an important part of GLaDOS' personality: the itch. As the central computer, she is driven to test and once a test is completed, an artificial euphoric sensation is emitted for her. Once removed from the enrichment facility, GLaDOS becomes much more civil. She becomes more understanding of the world around her and shows signs of compassion amidst her still incredibly sarcastic demeanor.

I never expected to enjoy GLaDOS becoming a sympathetic character, but it was fantastic.

Best moment: Her incredible acts of selflessness in the end game of Portal 2. Only so she could locate the compassionate part of her personality and promptly delete it.

50 Video Game Characters: 4

"Look at you, hacker. A pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?"



4. SHODAN (System Shock)

Created to serve as the AI for TriOp's mining station, Citadel, SHODAN was hacked by the game's protagonist and subsequently lost all ethical restrictions. Before long, she's taunting you and chasing you with her small army of robots and mutated humans.

As much as HAL is the landmark for villainous computers, he is never truly aware of his actions. His mission was to keep going and, damn it, he's going to keep going. SHODAN, meanwhile, is fully aware of what she's doing. Cruel and possessing no true emotions, SHODAN cares about nothing but power.

There are few villains in media that can truly be described as pure evil. SHODAN is one of them.

Best Moment: Her reveal as your guide during the first part of System Shock 2, before she forces you to do her dirty work.

50 Video Game Character: 5

"I've always wanted to be a thug, officially I mean"



5. Max (Sam and Max Hit the Road)

Commonly described as a "hyperkinetic rabbity thing," Max is the little lagomorphic buddy of canine shamus Sam. Together they form the Freelance Police, a duo who solve crimes with complete disregard for the law, humanity and themselves.

While Sam is the brains of the group, possessing a near-encyclopedic knowledge of worthless information, Max is most likely the brawn. Well, not "brawn" so much as the "unhinged cop on the edge". Max loves his gun more than life itself and prefers a more aggressive approach to solving crimes over Sam's more pragmatic approach.

Yet despite his psychotic demeanor and bizarrely short attention span(one time even freaking out that he was standing next to a "giant talking dog"), Max has an unusually keen mind and fantastic observational skills, usually used for interpreting ways to cause chaos during a particular situation.

Even with(and probably because of) all his supremely uninibited tendencies, he remains best buddies with Sam. Incredibly protective and possessive, Max holds his friendship above almost everything else, even if he plans on taking Sam with him when he dies.

Max is, above all else, the perfect representation of pure id: taking whatever instinctual trait his twisted little rabbity brain can think up.

Best moment: Near the beginning of Sam and Max Hit the Road, Sam has to get a message from inside a strangely hydrocephalic cat. While Sam tries every possible solution to coax the cat to hork it up, the only real solution comes when Max shoves his arm down the cat's throat, pulling the message out of him.

50 Video Game Characters: 6

"Mario?"



6. Luigi (Mario Bros.)

Luigi is basically Nintendo's punching bag. Waluigi's only been in party/sports games, yet he seemingly has more respect than the other Mario brother.

But let's observe the facts. Luigi has the possibility to be more athletic than his older, fatter brother. Hell, he already can jump higher. Plus he's shown that, despite all his cowardice, he's got some great courage hiding deep down within him. Just because Mario gets the girl, Luigi's gotta take the backseat?

Poor Luigi.

Best moment: His rad-ass dancing, best on display in Super Smash Bros. Brawl and the first couple Mario Party games.

50 Video Game Characters: 7

"There is nothing more for me to give to you. All that's left for you to take is my life...by your own hand."



7. The Boss (Metal Gear Solid 3)

One of the greatest soldiers of all time, the Boss is the mentor and mother figure of Naked Snake, which I guess also makes her Solid Snake's grandmother??

Raised by the Philosophers and founder of the special ops Cobra Unit, Boss practically invented the modern super soldier, as well as the concept of CQC. So it should come as no surprise that she also laid the groundwork for Big Boss' triple cross.

Working with Snake on the Virtuous Mission back in 1964, Boss was secretly also trying to rub elbows with the USSR's Colonel Volgin via the Philosophers and the US Government. By beating up Snake and returning Sokolov(creator of the proto-Metal Gear, the Shagohod), along with the added incentive of two nuclear warheads supplied by the government, she "defected" to the GRU.

However, Volgin was a crazy lightning man and used one of those warheads to blow up Sokolov's lab. Understanding that this could spell trouble for the USA, Boss' mission was greatly revised: To prove the innocence of America, she must keep up the image of being a traitor. Until her protégé kills her.

One by one, Snake had taken down the Cobra Unit, then Volgin and the Shagohod, and then, finally, The Boss. Dying in a field of white flowers, she explained to Snake the purpose of her mission and how the Philosophers took her child(eventually growing up to become Revolver Ocelot). Finally, she passed two things onto Snake. The first being the true purpose of the Virtuous Mission and Operation Snake Eater: the Philosophers' Legacy. The second, her title. And with it, an existence of endless battle.

The Boss died a traitor and buried as an unknown patriot. A sad end to a life of war.

Best moment: Her tearful final speech before her death.

50 personajes de los videojuegos: 8

"Sólo cerrado una puerta abierta. Impares, sin embargo, un desafío simbólico"



8. Manny Calavera(Grim Fandango)

Manny Calavera es su promedio dura de trabajo. También está la muerte.

Bueno, no es la única muerte. Ya que muchas personas mueren cada día, el Departamento de la Muerte contrata segadores múltiples para escoltar a las muchas almas perdidas del mundo de los vivos a la Tierra de los Muertos. Y no es que Manny incluso quería ser la Muerte, que es el pago de una deuda.

Después de pasar uno de sus clientes compañero de trabajo, Manny se topa con una conspiración por el departamento para mantener los boletos expresa del cliente para el mundo terrenal y el noveno lugar de darles a jefe de la mafia Héctor LeMans.

En el transcurso de un viaje de cuatro años (en el que ganar el control de él cada Novemeber 2, el Día de los Muertos), Manny, acompañado de su mejor amigo y el conductor, un demonio de la velocidad con el nombre de la glotis, y Calomar Mercedes, el cliente Manny robó, trata de completar su trabajo, tanto de Meche llegar al noveno inframundo y los planes para derrocar a Le Mans ".

Encanto de Manny, el ingenio, el acento gallardo español y habilidades para resolver problemas transformarlo de su sombrío espectro normal en un detective de cine negro suave, no importa cuán reacio que sea.

Mejor momento: Al final del año 1, Manny se encuentra en la pequeña ciudad portuaria de Rubacava. En el momento en que lo vemos en noviembre próximo, la ciudad ha crecido considerablemente, gracias en parte a un club nocturno de fresco que Manny se va.

50 Video Game Characters: 8

"I just locked an open door. Strange, yet symbolically compelling"



8. Manny Calavera(Grim Fandango)

Manny Calavera is your average working stiff. Also he's Death.

Well, he's not the only Death. Since so many people die every day, the Department of Death hires multiple Reapers to escort the many lost souls from the living world to the Land of the Dead. And it's not like Manny even wanted to be Death, he's paying off a debt.

After swiping one of his co-worker's clients, Manny stumbles upon a conspiracy by the department to keep express client tickets for the Ninth Underworld and instead give them to mob boss Hector LeMans.

Over the course of a four-year journey(where we gain control of him every Novemeber 2, the Day of the Dead), Manny, accompanied by his best friend and driver, a speed demon by the name of Glottis, and Mercedes Calomar, the client Manny stole, tries to both complete his job of getting Meche to the Ninth Underworld and to topple LeMans' plans.

Manny's charm, wit, dashing Spanish accent and problem-solving skills transform him from your regular grim spectre into a suave film noir detective, no matter how reluctant he may be.

Best moment: At the end of year 1, Manny finds himself in the small port town of Rubacava. By the time we see him next November, the town has grown considerably, thanks in part to a cool nightclub that Manny himself runs.