The Letter G

There are two G sounds/I must agree, there is G, good guy/And G, genius/One sound for you/And one sound for me.

Guy Smiley

Guy Smiley is the self-proclaimed "America's Favorite Game Show Host." He hosts a majority of game shows on Sesame Street.

You might remember him from such shows as Beat The Time(where contestants must perform a task before time runs out, usually resulting in the destruction of the set) and Here Is Your Life(where Smiley surprises the guest, usually an inanimate object, with their life story).

When the Count introduced himself on Beat The Time, he explained how he's called the Count because he likes to count things. Smiley responded with "Well, I'm Guy Smiley. They call me Guy Smiley because I changed my name from Bernie Liederkrantz." That's some good comedy right there.

Gonzo

In the first ever Muppet Show, The Great Gonzo ate a tire to "Flight Of The Bumblebee." That's Gonzo, a weirdo with a penchant for daredevilry and a real thing for chickens. Like a REAL thing, like when a man loves a woman. He can't keep his mind on nothin' else.

Originally a sad-eyed whatever in a wilted tuxedo, Gonzo got crazier and crazier as the seasons of the show went by, performing such acts as tap dancing with a flower pot on his head and dancing "Top Hat" in a giant bowl of oatmeal.

Unlike any other Muppet, Gonzo is a prime individual. Even if he is a "whatever" or even an alien (although that's not really canon anymore), it's highly doubtful the rest of his species (whatever that species is) can stop a taxi with their head or love having cannonballs fired at them.

Grover

Grover is cute, lovable and furry. He is quick to remind you this. The great thing about Grover is that, despite his still slightly child-like imagination and enthusiasm, he's basically an adult. He's an everymonster, holding a number of jobs from waiter to Monsterpiece Theater player.

That's why Grover is awesome, no matter how many times he dresses up as Super Grover, he's human (monster). He's not a giant bird, he's not an angry Grouch living in a trash can, he's Grover. He's normal (or as normal as a furry blue creature can be). He, more than any character, taught me it can be all right to just be normal.

Here's Grover explaining near and far:

It's great that he has to run back and forth to make the point instead of having objects near and far.

Sunny Days

In choosing to write these articles in November, I didn't initially realize the importance of this month in Muppet history.

Today, November 10, 2009, marks the 40th anniversary of Sesame Street. Possibly the main reason I love the Muppets in the first place, Sesame Street was designed by Joan Ganz Cooney and Lloyd Morrisett as a means to not only use television as an educational and entertaining tool, but to also put it in a more modern setting than it's predecessors like Howdy Doody and Romper Room. After Jim Henson joined, initially reluctant to perform on a children's show, Sesame Street got the ball rolling in production, with producer Jon Stone casting performers such as singer Bob McGrath (playing Bob), producer Matt Robinson (as the original Gordon), Loretta Long (Susan, who was hired when Stone saw that children would stand up and sing along to her audition tape where she performed "I'm A Little Teapot"), and the late veteran stage performer Will Lee (friendly store owner Mr. Hooper).

From the start of a pilot on NBC promoting the public television program (the only Muppets who appeared in the pilot were Bert and Ernie), the show was a hit. By 1979, the year of the show's 10th anniversary, nine million children in the US under the age of six were watching daily.

Sesame Street was (and maybe still is) one of the most important things in my life. For years, I watched it, learning my alphabet, how to count. I learned the difference between near and far, and the difference between left and right. It taught me to respect people and to like myself for who I am.

I can tell you who Captain Vegetable is or who sang the Pinball Number Count song (it was the Pointer Sisters). I know so many songs by heart, from "Bein' Green" to "Monster In The Mirror." Before I knew Alistair Cooke, I knew Alistair Cookie. Before Placido Domingo, I knew Placido Flamingo.

Sesame Street and the Muppets have been integral to the majority of people reading this, and that's why I did this. As a tribute to the street we all lived on as children.

I don't need to ask for directions, I know how to get there.

The Letter F

Four furry friends/Faithful together/Fun-filled/And forever free.

Fozzie Bear

The Muppet Show's resident King of Comedy, Fozzie Bear is the most borscht belt bear you will ever see. Fozzie is a Catskill styled comedian with a love for stupid jokes, bad puns, and lame gimmicks (telling jokes on roller skates). After telling said jokes he usually punctuates it with a "Wocka Wocka," which is an awesome catchphrase.

Fozzie is great because he wants to tell jokes and that's it. He wants nothing more to be successful as a comedian. He nevers complains about anything. Out of all the Muppet Show's muppets, Fozzie might be the most innocent. A child-like bear in a dumb floppy vaudville hat.

Sometimes Fozzie's jokes can be so bad that they're just unbearable. AaaaaAAAAAAhhhhh! /honk

Forgetful Jones

Forgetful Jones is...um...

Forgetful Jones is......shit, hold on.

OH, Forgetful Jones is a forgetful cowboy, yeah.

Who were we talking about again?

Frazzle


Frazzle may be one of, if not the, most misunderstood monster of all time. While Cookie Monster and Elmo appear harmless, Frazzle is a big orange ugly monster with sharp teeth, a unibrow, horns and yellow eyes with red pupils. He also speaks in an indecipherable snarl that can apparently be understood by others.

But beneath his horrible visage, Frazzle is incredibly childish, almost toddler-like. He also seems to have a desperate need to be included, wanting to sing in "Fuzzy and Blue," despite Grover's insistence that he's fuzzy and orange (Eventually, the song is changed to "Fuzzy and Blue (and Orange)").

Frazzle is pretty adorable. I mean, if you can get past that face only a mother can love (and Frazzle's mom does love him).

Floyd

Floyd is the mustachioed bassist of The Electric Mayhem. Decked in a colorful army jacket based on "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" (His name, Floyd Pepper, is a combination of Pink Floyd and Sgt. Pepper), Floyd is the most vocal member of the group, frequently providing hip sarcasm to other cast members.

In addition to his excellent bass work, Floyd is also an accomplished writer and singer. When the band threatened to quit because of The Muppet Show's "square theme song," Kermit promised Floyd he could re-write the theme. He came up with the 15-second, Zappa-esque "Fugue For Frog," which when Kermit mentioned he liked the name, Floyd responded by saying he wouldn't like the rest. And of course he didn't. As a matter of fact, despite claiming to be a great songwriter, he'll always cop to the fact that nobody actually enjoys his music, once saying "If I didn't know I was a genius, I wouldn't listen to the trash I write"

He's covered among other songs Billy Joel's "New York State of Mind" and The Beatles' "While My Guitar Gently Weeps."





I want you guys to watch both of those because holy shit are they awesome.

The Letter E

E, E, E/See the Es go easin' by.

Elmo


I was growing up right before Sesame Street's Elmo craze (like I was 6 when it started and too distracted by Doug or something), so I wasn't really affected by it. People who get angry at Elmo are stupid. You are too old to actually get pissed off by a piece of felt.

Played by a gigantic black man, Elmo is the high-pitched messiah/pariah of Sesame Street. Originally played by Richard Hunt (the puppeteer behind Sweetums, Beaker and Scooter), Kevin Clash was literally thrown the opportunity when Hunt, unable to find a personality for and tired of the puppet, tossed the furry red monster to him (because he was the only other person in the Muppeteer lounge at the time). Clash transformed him into a chirpy three year old muppet with a penchant for speaking in the third person.

Elmo currently hosts the final segment of Sesame Street, titled "Elmo's World," where he teaches toddlers one specific topic (i.e. one episode would be about books or hands or the concept of fast and slow). He's accompanied by his goldfish, Dorothy, and the Noodle family: Mr. Noodle (Bill Irwin), his brother Mr. Noodle (Michael Jeter), and their sister Mrs. Noodle (Kristin Chenoweth).

Elmo can be a little annoying at times. That is the only bad thing I have to say about Elmo. He's good for the kids so leave him alone.

Ernie

Ernie is awesome. He loves having fun, making jokes, playing games. He's orange and a little rounder than his best friend Bert. He enjoys taking baths with his Rubber Duckie (who would have appeared this month except he's not a muppet).

He's an excellent hider, according to the "Journey To Ernie" segments where he hides everywhere from a disco to The Letter B Museum to Mars. He frequently collaborates with other Sesame Street Muppets who aren't his best buddy Bert, most famously Lefty the Salesman (who I'll talk about later).

According to "Follow That Bird," he has an AIRPLANE WHICH HE IS ABLE TO FLY. HE CAN EVEN PILOT IT UPSIDE-DOWN WHAT THE HELL.

One time Ernie put a banana in his ear and he couldn't hear Bert questioning why. He once danced with an Egyptian mummy resembling himself while exploring a pyramid. He had to consult famed jazz owl Hoots on why he had trouble playing the saxophone, with Hoots coming to the conclusion that he had to put down his Rubber Duckie before playing.

Most importantly, though, he was the sole part of one of the most sincere Sesame Street moments. Singing "I Don't Want To Live On The Moon," which is about exactly what it sounds like. Ernie wants to visit the moon, but he wouldn't want to live there because he miss everyone and everything he loves.



Ernie is awesome.

The Letter D

Do a dance/Dig some dirt/Dunk a doughnut for dessert/Draw a daisy that's dee-de-lightful/To see when "D" is handy/It's fine and dandy.

Dr. Teeth

The vaguely pimp-like Dr. Teeth, based and named after Cajun bluesman Dr. John, is the keyboardist and lead singer of the Muppet Show house band, The Electric Mayhem, a primarily rock-infused Muppet supergroup. They have played with everyone from Elton John to Lou Rawls to Liza Minelli to Don Knotts (who even played upright bass for the band!)

He's got frizzy red hair, a big floppy purple hat, and, as his name would imply, a big toothy smile, complete with a gold tooth.

Dr. Teeth should be renamed Dentist.

Don Music

Very rarely on Sesame Street would you find characters resplendent in failure. Perenially agonized composer Don Music is always unable to complete his compositions, usually ending up with twisted variations ("Drive, Drive, Drive Your Car," "Can You Tell Me How To Get To Yellowstone Park?," "Mary Had A Bicycle").

The frustrated musician can never fully get his work right. Pained by his own inability to fully perfect his craft, he would frequently bang his head onto his keyboard.

To want to create something that people will enjoy. To never find the right words to get it right. To punish one's self for failure.

I do not relate to Don Music at all.

That lovely letter called "D,"/Dee-dee, dee, having fun/But now I'm dee, dee, dee, done!

The Letter C

Hmmm, now what starts with the letter C/Cookie starts with C/Let's think of other things that start with C/Oh who cares about those other things!



Cookie Monster

Cookie Monster is just as his name implies. He's a big, blue, furry, googly-eyed monster with a simplistic diction and a voracious appetite for anything, from apples to hubcaps. Of course, his favorite will always be a nice, round chocolate chip cookie, which he'll devour in an instant, making loud munching noises.

Despite his sometimes animalistic nature when it comes to food, he has a very large vocabulary, primarily displayed in his role as the gentrified Alistair Cookie, host of Monsterpiece Theater. Although mainly playing the role of host, he would sometimes join as a member of the production, participating in works like Conversations With My Father and Twin Beaks.

The shift in recent years to healthy eating caused a rumor to float around the Cookie would be changed to "Veggie Monster" or he would be dropped altogether. The rumors were refuted in an interview with Matt Lauer on an episode of Sesame Street, where Cookie explained how the media blows things out of proportion and his favorite food is still the cookie, but that he'll eat it as dessert after he finishes all his vegetables.

Also Sesame Street is too smart to think kids will practice poor eating habits because one character on their show enjoys cookies.

Crazy Harry

The Muppet Show's pyrotechnics expert, the unkempt, wild eyed Crazy Harry loves blowin shit up. That's his deal. He blows things up when things need to be blown up or when someone makes a pun involving things that blow up.

In addition to his explosive talent (BOOM) with pyrotechnics, he's also skilled on the triangle and an instrument known as the "Explodaphone," which is several explosive plungers arranged in a xylophone-like fashion.

This is all that matters about Crazy Harry.

Camilla

The object of The Great Gonzo's affection, Camilla is...a chicken. Although while he loves Camilla the most, he tends to romance many chickens, mainly because "they all look the same."

Okay so I know Gonzo is a whatever-he-is, but it makes me wonder: Is it a natural attraction because of his species or is it simply because he's just a weirdo, a one-of-a-kind creature with an affinity for fowl play.

Count von Count


I heard a heavy step approaching behind the great door, and saw through the chinks the gleam of a coming light. Then there was the sound of rattling chains and the clanking of massive bolts drawn back. A key was turned with the loud grating noise of long disuse, and the great door swung back.

Within, stood a short old man, clean shaven and possessing a monocle, and clad in black from head to foot, without a single speck of colour about him anywhere save for his purple skin. He held in his hand an antique silver lamp, in which the flame burned without a chimney or globe of any kind, throwing long quivering shadows as it flickered in the draught of the open door. The old man motioned me in with his right hand with a courtly gesture, saying in excellent English, but with a strange intonation.
"One! One guest in my castle! Ah ah ah!"

Named The Count because he loves counting (and because he inherited the title from his father), Count von Count will count anything regardless of size or number, when he finishes counting he announces the total number of items and laughs, usually accompanied by thunder and lightning.

The Count resides in a large European-style castle overlooking Sesame Street. Resembling a vampiric castle, it is covered in cobwebs, decaying, has a pipe organ and is "infested" with bats. In addition to his pet bats, he also has a cat and an octopus.

The Count is better than most vampires.

The Letter B

When I find I can't remember/What comes after A and before C/My mother always whispers/Letter B

Bert

The Felix to best friend Ernie's Oscar (not Grouch), Bert is the much more serious of the classic pair of friends (AND NOTHING MORE). Bert loves argyle, oatmeal, reading Boring Stories, collecting paper clips, and learning about his favorite animal, the pigeon.

In addition to his serious demeanor, he frequently tries to make sense of his much wackier pal, but usually to little or no avail as Ernie rarely stays serious for a second. He's also the current chairperson for the National Association of W Lovers, leading the group in activities such as reciting W words and drawing letter Ws.

Jim Henson has commented that Frank Oz initially didn't like Bert as he was too dull of a character for him to enjoy. Eventually, of course, Oz was able to turn Bert's boring personality into an outlet for his own dullness and found a way to make it entertaining and a great foil to Henson's Ernie.

Bunsen Honeydew

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew is head researcher and resident scientist of all facets of the world-renowned Muppet Laboratories. Originally alone in his experiments, he soon found the perfect guinea pig in the near-indestructible Beaker.

Always excited to show off his new invention (including a gorilla detector, a banana sharpener, and exploding clothes) his love of science tends to get in the way of the progress of his experiments, leaving Beaker to suffer. Over and over again.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew is a terrible person.

Beaker

Beaker would certainly agree. As the unfortunate assistant of Honeydew, Beaker is subjected to one torturous experiment after another. Speaking in only "meep"s, Beaker's pain is more than apparent during the projects of Muppets Labs, as his screams of horror continually emit any time danger springs fully formed in front of him.

He's been shrunken, deflated, blown up, had acid poured on his head, yet he keeps coming back for more. Is it because he simply needs work, or is there a co-dependant relationship between doctor and assistant?

Big Bird

8 feet tall, bright yellow, and 6 years old, Big Bird lives in a giant nest right behind the 123 Sesame Street apartment building. The essence of childhood, Big Bird always lets children feel at ease with not knowing everything, because he doesn't either. He'll be confused by the alphabet, and he can easily be tricked by Oscar (who commonly refers to the big canary as a turkey).

With the possible exception of Elmo, Big Bird is the most popular character on Sesame Street, starring in the first Sesame Street movie "Follow That Bird" (which is awesome) and being probably one of the most marketable muppets. It may seem impossible for a person to puppet someone like Big Bird and, well, you would almost be right. Caroll Spinney (and a few others who have played the role) has to work the puppet by extending his right hand far above his head to move the neck and mouth while his left hand control the left wing (the right wing is stuffed and hangs loosely from the puppet).

Big Bird has made me cry at two different moments, both teaching about death. The first one was when actor Will Lee's death forced the Sesame Street writers to explain why Mr. Hooper wouldn't appear anymore. They decided to come out and say that Mr. Hooper died and have Big Bird (and all children) taught that death is a permanent occurence and we should learn to remember all the good things we experienced with that person.



The second happened at Jim Henson's actual funeral. As the giant bird, dressed formally for the event, walked down the aisle, there was a look of worry in his eyes. Making his way down to the center, he sang Henson's infamous "Bein' Green," a song extolling how it's not so bad to be different. With Caroll Spinney actually tearing up during the performance (both this and the Mr Hooper one, actually), Big Bird's own sadness came through so realistically. As the song concludes, Big Bird looks up into the sky and says, voice breaking, "Thank you, Kermit."