100 Greatest Movie Characters: 1

"You wanna to talk to God? Let's go see him together, I've got nothing better to do."

1. Indiana Jones
Raiders of the Lost Ark

Yes, that's right. Dr. Henry Walton Jones, Jr. My number one.

The return of the classic great adventurer, Indy is everything a classic hero should be: charming, a good guy, adventurous, with easy to hate enemies and iconic imagery (in this case his fedora and especially his whip). There is not a single person on Earth who has seen this movie and didn't have even a passing thought of becoming an archaeologist.

Not only a classic hero, but incredibly human as well. Dripping with a wry sense of humor and a lack of respect from his superiors, Indy gets the job done as any other adventure hero would: with his fists and brain. But here's the catch about Indiana, he'll take a punch. James Bond never gets hit in the face, Indiana Jones does. James Bond is fearless, Indiana Jones is like the rest of us. He has phobias. When met with snakes, he's almost completely frozen. He's a human being, like the rest of us.


Defining moment: The opening of "Raiders," as we see Indy venture into an ancient booby-trapped cave to retrieve a lost idol. One of the most iconic scenes in film history and still awesome today.

It took a long gestation period for me to figure out the number 1 spot. Once I figured it out, though, it was like I never had a second thought about it. George Lucas and Steven Spielberg's love of the old adventure films of their childhood had me seek out films like them. Indiana Jones is the reason I love movies. He may not be as compelling as Patrick Bateman, or as emotionally-stirring as WALL-E, but without Indy? This list wouldn't exist.

Indiana Jones is still one of my heroes.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 2

"Tell me, Clarice – have the lambs stopped screaming?"

2. Hannibal Lecter
Silence of the Lambs

What happened to the old Royal Shakespeare Company? Dame Maggie Smith is in Harry Potter, Sir Ian McKellen has two different action figures (Magneto and Gandalf) and Sir Anthony Hopkins is best know for eating people's livers. But you know what, Hopkins deserves all the notoriety he gets for playing the devious Dr. Hannibal Lecter, one of the most chilling characters ever brought to life.

A former psychologist, Lecter is able to delve deep into people's minds and it's all the better for him to manipulate them with. His haunting relationship with Clarice Starling builds a powerful rapport in the film. Making her rely on his knowledge of the insane puts Lecter in complete control of the interrogations and he uses it to quite the advantage. Putting himself in a well-guarded cell rather than a glass room makes it much easier for a bloody escape.

Cold, calculating and manipulative, Lecter just has to wait for you to make one mistake, one tiny little miniscule mistake and he can make his move. No worries, though. He has all the time in the world to wait.

Defining moment: The final scene. Having successfully made his escape to an airport in Bimini, Lecter calls Clarice days after she brings down Buffalo Bill and assures her that he has no intention of tracking her down. Their conversation cuts short as the good doctor claims he's "having an old friend for dinner." As Dr. Chilton, the director of the mental facility Lecter formerly resided in, gets off his plane, Lecter disappears into the crowd. Slowly following him.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 3

"I know"

3. Han Solo
Star Wars

Number 8 (and the final) in a series of Star Wars characters.

"FUCK LUKE SKYWALKER" was the general consensus when audiences laid their eyes on the swaggering nerf herder known as Han Solo. Smuggler by trade, fucking awesome by birth, Solo is able to seem cool as shit in situations where he might just seem like a total cockbag.

In addition to being super charming and a snappy dresser (look at that amazing vest), he's damn handy with a blaster (which Han may be the only person to find cooler than the fucking Force, ostensibly making the blaster cooler than anything ever). Plus he owns the sweetest ship in the galaxy (which made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, which makes it pretty damn amazing considering a parsec is distance, meaning the Millenium Falcon can warp distance) and has a god damn giant dog-ape as a sidekick.

Han Solo is fucking awesome. Act like you know.

Defining moment: Shooting first

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 4

"I look like you want to look. I fuck like you want to fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not"

4. Tyler Durden
Fight Club

Tyler Durden is a bad man. A very, very bad man. He will pee in your soup, sell your fat back to you a soap, splice porn into your movies, and he will bomb the shit out of every material good you have, because let's face it you don't really need a home.

Id literally personified, Durden is a natural (or as natural that a figure of multiple personalites can be) born leader with a taste for the anarcho-primitivist. Stylish and cool, Durden will beat the shit out of your face and you wouldn't mind (because he doesn't exist).

He's not his job, or his parent's money, or even his fucking khakis. He's the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. And he wouldn't have it any. Other. Way.

Defining moment: The first night of Fight Club, and Tyler has a couple of very specific rules to lay down before the fighters engage in their activities.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 5

"I find your lack of faith disturbing"

5. Darth Vader
Star Wars

Part 7 in a series of Star Wars characters.

No matter how much he was controlled by the Emperor, Darth Vader is the ultimate evil of the galaxy. He is everything synonymous with scary: he's a huge imposing figure, wearing an all-black ensemble, breathing heavily and sounding like James Earl Jones speaking through a floor fan.

And that mask. The expressionless stare and robotic face defy emotion and keep him in the serious state he remains in with Jones's voice providing no trace of emotion. Only a need to strike fear in the hearts of the rebellion (and every child watching).

Darth Vader is the epitome of effective simplicity. Being the bare minimum of imposing creates a much scarier figure. Plain and simple.

Defining moment: Once more with the WALL-E:

• His powerful entrance
• His first force choke
• The first moment we see him without a helmet
• "No, I am your father"
• Sacrificing himself and throwing the Emperor over a railing that was conveniently there

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 6

"Well, sir, it's this rug I have. It really tied the room together."

6. The Dude
The Big Lebowski

What would happen if Raymond Chandler wrote The Big Sleep and instead of Philip Marlowe you had some stoner stuck in the late 70s looking for a new rug? You'd have The Big Lebowski. Actually you wouldn't, because The Big Lebowski is a disabled multi-millionare who lost his legs to some Chinaman in Korea. I'm not talking about Jeffrey Lebowski. I'm talking about The Dude. That's what you call him. That or His Dudeness, Duder, El Duderino (if you're not into the whole brevity thing).

A case of mistaken identity (and a micturated piece of furniture) spins The Dude's life out of control, as the otherwise easygoing toker is thrust into a world of porn kings, trophy wives, and nihilists. At the center of a kidnapping mystery, The Dude is abused and pushed into everything without even a fucking second thought. But, to Dude's credit, he takes all of it with stride. Keeping a mostly cool head even when Walter goes over the edge or facing an angry wet marmot.

To say The Dude is an original character is an understatement, there was never anything like Jeff Bridges lovable stoner and there probably never will be again. The Dude does his own thing and doesn't let anyone stop him. To put it bluntly, The Dude abides.

Defining moment: To say there is a moment in The Big Lebowski that actually defines The Dude would be impossible. Nothing can accurately define him. To find one specific moment to peg him to? That shit would be decidedly un-Dude.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 8

"Get away from her, you bitch!"

8. Ellen Ripley
Alien

The greatest film heroine ever and possibly the biggest sci-fi badass ever, Ellen Ripley went from what is essentially slasher film hero (running around trying to avoid death by alien) to the greatest hero of the galaxies since the Empire was brought down by some kid with feathered hair and his space cowboy friend.

By the end of the first film, Ripley is stranded in space, drifting around in hypersleep. Revived 57 years after the Nostromo incident (where she was the only surviving crewmember of a Xenomorph attack) she is charged, due to her knowledge of the LV-426 planetoid (where the Nostromo first encountered Xenomorph eggs), to lead a team of space marines (yes SPACE MARINES) into investigating what happened to the colony living there. Turns out, surprise surprise!, that the aliens killed them all.

Well, almost all. Ripley swears to protect the last surviving member, a young girl named Newt. As her maternal instincts kick in, her fears of going face-to-face with a bunch of HR Giger nightmares all but disappear and she is reborn as a god damn warrior princess. In all honesty Ripley may be the biggest badass in any action film.

Defining moment: Going mano-a-mano (womano-a-womano?) with the Queen Alien. Oh and winning of course. If you don't know, the Alien Queen looks like this:



So yeah. Awesome.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 9

"The name's Bond. James Bond"

9. James Bond
Dr. No

Its safe to say that with all the Bond incarnations over 40 years, it's hard to pick just one Bond. I mean, each one obviously has his own appeal and hahahahaha no fuck that the best is Sean Connery.

The classic Bond, Connery's performance will forever be the Bond that is judged upon all others. The quintessence of the suave British spirit (even if he's played by a Scotsman), Bond could be as campy as he wants to be and still come off looking like the smoothest motherfucker. The greatest secret agent (although he always seems to get caught at least once), Bond is backed by an aresenal of cool gadgets including guns shaped like pens, pens shaped like guns, invisible cars, and I'm guessing some other things that are cheesy and cool.

A debonair jet-setting womanizer, Bond will never pass up and opportunity to get laid unless it completely stands in the way of his job of defeating international criminals like Auric Goldfinger or Ernst Blofeld.

James Bond is cooler and better than you or I will ever be. Even if he can't pronounce his S's correctly.

Defining moment: Taking off his wetsuit to reveal he's still in a tuxedo. Thinking it was awesome as a child and laughing at how fucking stupid it is today.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 10

"I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!"

10. Michael Corleone
The Godfather

Sure Michael was in the first Godfather film, but that was more about Vito than anything. From the beginning, Michael wanted nothing to do with the family business (the business being the family) and attended Dartmouth and became a WW2 Marine (against Vito's wishes). Still caring about his family when his father is nearly assassinated, he volunteers to kill Virgil "The Turk" Sollozzo and Capt. McCluskey, both of whom are killed at his hand. He exiles himself to Sicily and only returns to New York upon learning his older brother Sonny was killed, having to take over his role operating head of the family. Soon, though, Vito dies and Michael becomes Don of the Corleone crime family. Viciously slaughtering the members of the Barzini crime family, Michael cements his reputation as a ruthless mafia boss.

A lot for a first film, but Michael truly shines in the second part. Charting his complete moral decay, Michael does all he can to keep things legitimate but family and enemies (especially ones who keep putting hits out on him) keep him from trying to live a simple life. By the end of the film, Michael is forced to deal with all his mistakes, all his problems, as the rage he must face in this film will haunt him for the rest of his life. Pacino's transformation from an innocent to a vicious crime boss is one of the singular best performances in film.

Then Part III came along and fucked everything up for everyone.

Defining moment: Michael's chilling confrontation with Fredo after realizing Fredo was talking to Hyman Roth. He knows what he has to do. Have Fredo murdered. And he knows its a choice that will stay with him forever.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 11

"They cursed us. Murderer they called us. They cursed us, and drove us away. And we wept precious, we wept to be so alone. And we forgots the taste of bread, the sound of trees, the softness of the wind. We even forgot our own name. My precious."

11. Gollum
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

A raspy deformed halfling with a short stature and loose grip on sanity, we discover that within the frail former Stoorish Hobbit live two separate entities: Sméagol, an innocent who still remember things like love and friendship and trust, and Gollum, a monster dominated by his obsession with the Ring and who only knew violence and treachery.

Gollum, being vicious and manipulative, is commonly the dominant personality, bullying the poor Sméagol close to oblivion. Frodo's natural kindness however awakens something in the creature and Sméagol is able to thrive again (with constant opposition from Gollum, of course).

The first really great motion-captured characters in film, Gollum show what Computer Generated Imagery can accomplish. Gollum's performance, completely taken from Andy Serkis's movements and voice, is better than most real actors out there today. Animators even worked on separating the two characters through everything from body posture to pupils (small and beady for Gollum, big and round for Sméagol). A simultaneously heartbreaking and horrifying character, Gollum is absolutely precious. We lovessss hims.

Defining moment: His heartbreaking argument, as Gollum chews out Sméagol, insulting and emotionally abusing him (well, himself), the innocent side soon stands up to itself. Demanding the monster inside to "leave now and never come back," Sméagol is able to effectively banish Gollum from his person. If only for a little while.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 12

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers"

12. Randal Graves
Clerks

The avatar for anyone who's ever had a shitty job, Randal is the voice of discourse to Dante's passive clerking. The Id to Dante's ego, a slacker more than anyone else (even Jay and Silent Bob take their job selling narcotics more or less seriously). A troublemaker with a penchant for sloth, Randal seems to love being a devil on the shoulder of Dante Hicks.

Yet for all his smart-ass comments and lackadaisical attitude, Randal possesses more common sense than most Gen-Xers. He understands that clerking is a choice, and while Dante despises working behind the counter at the Quik Stop, Randal simply chooses not to care about his RST Video job. Randal is like a zen slacker.

Defining moment: When a woman asks if he can order a film for her daughter titled "Happy Scrappy Hero Pup," Randal agrees. After listing off a number of sordidly-named pornos (including "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts," "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers," "My Cunt and 8 Shafts," and "Men Alone II: The KY Connection") Randal turns to the mother and daughter, dismissively asking her to repeat the name of the film she wanted to order.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 13

"Back off, man. I'm a scientist"

13. Peter Venkman
Ghostbusters

Before there was Vince Vaughn, there was Venkman. Part of the street-smart half of the paranormal control team known as the Ghostbusters (he and Winston, while Egon and Ray are the far more paranormal intelligent), Dr. Venkman keeps the team lively with his flippant nature and generally assholish quips.

A sarcastic but lovable prick, Venkman is a savvy skirt-chaser with a lazy approach to anything actually resembling work. BUT his big mouth can also be useful as he's damn fine at being persuasive, working his way over many people in New York City.

He's cynical, he's sarcastic, but damn it if we don't love him.

Defining moment: Using his powers of persuasion to the Mayor of New York. And like that, the Ghostbusters are back in business.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 14

"Each night when I return the cab to the garage, I have to clean the cum off the back seat. Some nights, I clean off the blood."

14. Travis Bickle
Taxi Driver

A hero for the 70s, Travis Bickle is a lonely, depressed young cabbie in Manhattan who works night shifts due to chronic insomnia. He's develops a crush on a campaign volunteer named Betsy and tries to romance her. Unfortunately Travis is slightly socially awkward and on their first date, he takes her to a Swedish porno and she obviously leaves offended.

Here's where it gets bad. Rejected and now severely depressed, Travis becomes increasingly more psychopathic. Disgusted with the prostitutes and criminals surrounding his nightly drives, he finds a focus for his anger by trying to become a vigilante. This all finally comes into play when he meets Iris, a child prostitue. Much in the way Travis develops obsessions with Betsy and vigilantism, he too becomes preoccupied with saving the naive little girl who believes hanging with pimps and drug dealers is better than getting an education.

By the end, he does save Iris and goes back to his night shift, but the media focus on him as a hero almost pacifies him, transforming him back into the almost-sane person he once was. Albeit now slightly more haunted by his regrets and violent past.

Defining moment: Attempting suicide after murdering an entire house of pimps and gunmen to save Iris, Travis finds all his weapons to be empty. Awaiting the cops arrival, he hauntingly puts his fingers to his head, imitating a gun, and pulls the "trigger" a few times

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 15

"A boy's best friend is his mother"

15. Norman Bates
Psycho

Shy, yet friendly. Average, yet a little off. Right off the bat, we can tell there's something wrong with the reserved mama's boy Norman Bates. After the infamous shower scene, we begin to wonder: does Bates know his mother murdered someone? Did he have anything to even do with it? Is he simply a weakling under the thumb of mad Mother Bates? Or is there something more sinister to him.

Imagine being audience to the premiere of Psycho. The things that happen on screen have never really been seen before. People are violently murdered, for god's sake. And the twist ending was unlike ANYTHING seen in a mainstream film. The twist, and Anthony Perkins' subdued madness alone was enough to make on my list. And especially a severely disturbed performance like that to make it this high.

Defining moment: Running in, knife in hand, dressed as his mother.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 16

"You're a fucking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death and then play around with your blood."

16. Patrick Bateman
American Psycho

The epitome of Yuppie scum, Patrick is greedy, callous, egotistical, shallow, and heavily addicted to sex and drugs. He also kills people, but that's beside the point. Even if he didn't kill everyone he thinks he did (and there's a possibility it's all in his head), he's still a fucking repugnant human being. Not even he can stomach himself, so he dissolves into this fantasy world of murder and Huey Lewis.

Although often claiming he is devoid of emotion, Bateman frequently experiences panic attacks and, of course, moments of extreme rage. Stemming from his own deep-seated insecurities, Bateman's victims are usually killed because they make him feel unimportant. His own ego problems are solved with extreme personal grooming and obsessive attention to detail and style, stroking his vain ego as much as possible to make himself feel like more of a man.

But then again, does any of this really matter? In a world of self-absorbed investment bankers, does anyone listen? Patrick confesses multiple times to his own crimes, but they are consistently laughed off by his friends and co-workers who either view it as a joke or are simply just not listening. He even lengthily confesses it to his lawyer, who confuses him for someone else and laughs at his "good joke." His confessions mean nothing in this day and age. There is no solution for Patrick Bateman's crimes, no poetic justic, no chance of the good guy winning. Not even Patrick wins. Everyone loses. No matter what.

Defining moment: I'm gonna WALL-E this again, because there's a number of great Patrick Bateman moments.

• The murder of Paul Allen. Decked in a clear trenchcoat and shiny-as-hell axe, he discusses the important message on the wonder of conformity in Huey Lewis and The News' "Hip To Be Square" before hacking Allen up into tiny pieces
• Chasing a hooker. Naked. While holding a chainsaw. And killing her by dropping the chainsaw on her from a few stories up.
• Anytime he talks about music ever
• Blowing up a cop car with his handgun and then looking at the handgun with disbelief
• FEED ME A STRAY CAT

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 17

"I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope."

17. Ellis "Red" Redding
The Shawshank Redemption

Although originally written as a middle-aged Irishman (his fiery-red hair, now graying, earned him the nickname), Red was turned into a freckly black man because Frank Darabont couldn't see anyone else playing him other than Morgan Freeman's Voice. And you really can't blame him.

Obviously the narrator of the film (because he's Morgan fucking Freeman), Red is also the best friend of prisoner Andy Dufrense. At first secluded, Andy soon opens up to Red and treats him as a friend and even somewhat a prison father figure, because he is Morgan Freeman and he has a voice so soothing and reassuring you could sleep to it.

Red, possibly because of his color, has been denied parole on multiple occasions. Although for Red this may be a blessing, as he fears his years locked up have left him somewhat unaccustomed to the outside world and may cause him to commit suicide like Brooks Hatlen has done. But Red is an optimist, a kind soul, and the one who keeps Andy's hope alive as he plans his escape.

Defining moment: Finally getting parole, Red goes to the field where he promised to meet Andy, finding only a box containing a letter. As he violates parole and boards the bus to Mexico to meet his old friend, he gets this twinkle in his eye that is almost as lovely as Morgan Freeman's voice. Almost.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 18

"You are most troublesome, for a security guard."

18. Hans Gruber
Die Hard

An exceptional thief, Hans Gruber is the mastermind behind the entire Nakatomi robbery and about as suave and level-headed as a villain can get.

Sure, of course there are more memorable villains (see later in this list), but Hans, like most of "Die Hard," is infinitely quotable and Alan Rickman is such an exquisite actor that he captures the deviousness of the character's mind and his ensuing anger as one man takes down his entire elaborate operation.

Gruber is so sharp in his goatee and handsome suit and filled with such charisma that, if it weren't for how much of a fucking badass John McClane was, you might just want the bad guy to win.

Defining moment: Killing Harry Ellis, thereby doing something the rest of us wanted to do to that smug fucking prick since the beginning of the film.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 19

"Mind if I sit down? I'm carrying quite a load here"

19. Marge Gunderson
Fargo

Whaddya got there, an extortion an' kidnapping case with some murders? And ya send in a cop who's far inta her pregnancy there? That seems a bit cuckoo, ya know? Unless ya know ol' Margie Gunderson, then maybe.

Not only a real nice lady, married to an equally nice fella (Norm "Son of a" Gunderson), but she's a dang good detective. Don't think all those Northerners are a bunch of rubes there. Marge is a smart cookie, ya know? And she ain't gonna let a little (far more than a little) pregnancy get in the way of her police work. I mean, she's got a job to do!

Frances McDormand's character is the second greatest creation of the Coens (wait for the first one) and it's proven by McDormand's Oscar for Best Actress. A genuinely likable harried police officer who takes all her problems in the film with stride.

Defining moment: Finding an important clue near the crime scene. Wait...nope. Just morning sickness.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 20

"Nobody calls me chicken."

20. Marty McFly
Back To The Future

What is it about the 80s and cool teenagers? Did we in the 90s realize that being a teenager was less cool and more angst (not that there were plenty of angst in 80s teen films)? Is this like when comics became dark and gritty because they weren't "real" enough (giving a man with the ability of flight a heroin addiction does not make something real, by the way)?

Whatever, there's no denying that Marty McFly was quite possibly the coolest teenager of the 80s. Sure Ferris Bueller was cool, but did he travel through time? Pretty sure he didn't. Marty wasn't only a skilled Eddie Van Halen-level guitarist and awesome skateboarder, but he also drove a flux-capacitor-equipped DeLorean (a kickass car) and reunited his parents as teenagers before almost completely disappearing.

Also he has this awesome jacket that I really like.

Defining moment: Performing "Johnny B. Goode" (an oldie where he comes from) at the Enchantment Under The Sea dance. And then going completely out of control with it, playing some sweet-ass solos. Also this scene contains my favorite line from Back To The Future: "YO CHUCK, IT'S YOUR COUSIN MARVIN. MARVIN BERRY? YOU KNOW THAT NEW SOUND YOU WAS LOOKING FOR? WELL LISTEN TO THIS!"

For those of you who don't realize, Marty's performance of Chuck Berry's "Johnny B. Goode" inspired Chuck Berry to perform "Johnny B. Goode." Yes, Marty McFly is so cool he invented rock n roll.

100 Greatest Movie Characters: 21

"I want two things. It's not what you think. Organize a press conference. I want a press conference and I want an American Cheeseburger. Hogan, drive. Cheeseburger first."

21. Tony Stark
Iron Man

Iron Man is the greatest superhero movie. Too bad Iron Man is pretty boring. Even for someone who can shoot missiles and fly and all that, he can't match the charm and charisma of his alter-ego Tony Stark.

A quick-witted billionaire playboy with a love of women and a good hand at engineering. As opposed to a Batman or Spider-Man, Tony Stark has no real internal conflicts (although in the comics he becomes an alcoholic and was also pretty much responsible for Captain America's death), he's just a friendly asshole who loves cracking wise.

Yet another testament to actor (and actual Iron Man fan) Robert Downey Jr.'s abilities. Being able to make the guy who fires missles the less interesting of the two has to take a lot of skills, and Downey's penchant for improvised burns and ability to make digs at his own shady past (something both Downey and Stark deal with) show once again that Robert Downey Jr. is an amazing actor.

Defining moment: His final press conference, where he declares that he is Iron Man.